There is a beautiful painting of Emma and Lucy Smith entitled “More than Just Friends” by Liz Lemon Swindle. When I first saw the painting I considered another role of Emma Smith, that of daughter-in-law. Given the many opinions of her that have been reported in religious education settings throughout my life, I sometimes had a negative view of her. I knew that it was not my place to judge and yet I often wondered why she did not remain true to the faith and gather her family in a safe refuge.
All it took for me to be justly reproved was to suffer just a small part of what Emma experienced. When my sister gave birth to a stillborn daughter and I followed a few years later with a grievous miscarry, my thoughts turned to Emma. I knew the grief and sorrow I felt for my sister and the emptiness I carried in my soul for children that would never be. How must it have been for Emma? She lost so much more than I and had no stable home to call her own. What anxieties must she have felt each day of her life when mobs disrupted her places of abode with constant threats and physical harm to her husband?
There was one person who was a constant throughout her life and that was Joseph’s mother, Lucy. Records show that Emma and Lucy were true and beloved companions. Lucy loved Emma dearly and that love was returned by Emma who cared for Mother Smith throughout her life.
I wanted to be a witness of that loving relationship. I wanted to know how it worked, and why it worked.
Often I have pondered these thoughts without realizing that I had role models much closer to me than I realized. I had a portrait very much like Emma and Lucy in Anna and Atta. I was blessed with a close and comfortable relationship with my Grandmother. We chatted freely about many topics. I had so much fun getting to know my Grandma.
I loved to listen to her tell me stories about my Great Grandma Murray. I didn’t know my Great-grandmother, but I knew about her from listening to my father recount his experiences with her. I knew how dear she was to my father and somehow it seemed natural that she was also dear to my grandmother. It took me a while to figure out that great Grandma Murray was my Grandma’s mother-in-law. When Grandma and Grandpa
were first married Great Grandma “took me in right away and loved me as a daughter.” Grandma talked about when they lived near one another in Altonah how Great Grandma would meet them at the close of a long day “with a chicken all dressed out” because she knew that they would be tired and hungry. Grandma talked of working in the garden with Great-Grandma and of being busy with church service during those days in Altonah.
Great Grandma was there for the dark painful days when death visited Grandma and Grandpa and robbed them of their beloved son. Great Grandma was there to care for them with a gentle hand and share their unspeakable grief.
When Grandma and Grandpa moved to Myton it was hard for them. “I missed her so much,” Grandma said.
At the close of my Great Grandmother’s life she came to be with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma told me how disease had robbed Great Grandma of her mobility and how she helped to bathe her and gently rub lotion on her “poor little body”. Other family members had attempted to feed Great Grandma prior to her coming to stay with Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma told me that she found food caked on the roof of her mouth. Grandma cleaned her mouth out and helped her eat broth which she could more easily swallow.
My Grandma always cried when she told me about the last night of Great Grandma’s life. Great Grandma was in the upstairs bedroom and it was getting dusk. Grandma went in to make sure that Great Grandma was comfortable. Grandma said that she seemed frightened, so she remained in the room with Great Grandma to comfort her. Great Grandma said, “Blind, Anna.” Grandma, thinking that the sinking sun was bothering her eyes, pulled the blind down. When Grandma recounted the story to me she said, “It wasn’t until after she died that I realized she was trying to tell me that she couldn’t see; that she was blind.” Then my Grandma wept. She too was blind, and she knew better than anyone how frightening that must have been for her mother-in-law.
In my opinion there could not be a more pure picture of what a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is than Anna and Atta. I have never read accounts nor heard stories of my Great-Grandmother from anyone who knew her who didn’t testify of what a remarkable, faithful daughter of Zion she was. I am so glad that I knew her through my Grandmother’s eyes. Eyes that couldn’t see things of mortality at the last, but eyes that help me see the “sweetest soul that ever walked the Earth.”
I believe that my Grandma loved her mother-in-law so dearly for at least two reasons. 1) They both loved Wilmer and 2) My Grandmother had a remarkable loving relationship with her own mother, Martha Verona.
Atta Armelia (Back row)
William Ashby Family
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